Don’t piss off God or his friends, just saying.
2 Kings 2:23-24
“Elisha went up from there to Bethel. As he was traveling up the road, some young boys came out of the city and made fun of him saying “Go on up, baldy! Baldhead!” When he turned and saw them, he called God’s judgement down on them. Two bears proceeded to come from the woods and ripped forty two of the boys to pieces.”
I am not having a great day. It’s not even something that happened today that’s bothering me; it’s remenicing over the events of yesterday. But getting into what happened isn’t going to change the fact that it DID happen. And it’s not even what happened that upsets me; it’s that I was promised it wouldn’t happen. I almost wish I wasn’t told. They say ignorance is bliss and they were absolutely right. But one of these days, the withheld truth is going to get to someone. A broken promise won’t stay unannounced for long. I’m just ready to be able to unload all of this crap that I feel. I’m not who I normally am when I’m this angry.
still in the closet. come on waldo, we all know thats the one place we haven’t looked and we leave that place alone for the sake of the children
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FINALLY, someone understands why Twilight doesn’t make sense.
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Poor cat…
1. Throw your party this weekend
By now, you should know if you have the grades and credits necessary to graduate. Why wait for the ceremony, when you can celebrate now? Not only will you avoid competing with other parties in the crowded month of June, but by getting a jump on party season, you might get a great deal on renting that hippopotamus.
2. Rent a hippopotamus
Harder then you think, but well worth the trouble, renting a hippo will guarantee that everyone remembers your party well past college. For best results, constantly remind folks that hippos are deadlier than lions and tigers, and among the most dangerous animals on the planet!
3. Promise violence
The problem with invitations is that people never RSVP and you waste a bunch of money on postage. Instead, spread that word that Tom and Carl are going to fight at your house this weekend. Everyone loves to gather around a fight, and your party will be the best-attended event of the year. When the guests finally realize there is no fight, they will be too entertained/impressed by the hippo to get mad.
4. Do not invite alumni
Those who have left and gone off to college should be dead to you. When brought into a high school party, all these folks will do is brag about college and complain that this party is lame. (Yet they will stay longer than any other guest.) They will also try to one-up your party by saying things such as, “Cool hippo. I was at this party once at college where they had three hippos.” Also, if they are guys, these alums will have ridiculous sideburns and be 10 pounds fatter than you remember. Who needs that at a party?
5. Only serve dessert
The best part of a party occurs near the end, during the two hours before guests leave. Offer cake alone, thus making it feel like the party is at its peak even if it just began. To increase the verisimilitude, only serve cake that has already been cut into, and prior to the arrival of the first guest, fill a trash bag with empty soda cans, paper plates, and plastic forks to deepen the illusion that things are in full swing.
6. Play only one album the entire night
Pick a good party album, or your favorite album of all time, and let it play on repeat all night long. It will be annoying at first, but after two or three listens, everyone will start to spontaneously sing the lyrics as the songs burrows deeper and deeper into their minds. (Warning: For your safety, and the safety of your guests, stay away from emo band AFI.)
7. Hide
If the party starts to die down, hide. Everyone will start asking about you, and the ensuing confusion will extend the party by another hour, at least. Then, reappear with a volleyball net and volleyball. Including set-up time, a game of volleyball can stretch out a party by another two hours. Repeat as necessary by appearing from your hiding place with various lawn activities.
